let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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