she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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