Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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