i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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