At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
