the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
