I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
