how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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