Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
