theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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