You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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