Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
