I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
