if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize
