Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
