No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
