Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
