I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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