hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
