Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
