I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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