Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
