He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Randomize
