So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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