New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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