is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
