I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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