I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
