He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
