I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
