just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize