yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
