my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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