forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
