I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
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