All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
