She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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