Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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