I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
