Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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