everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
