thus making me awesome and them whores
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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