He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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