I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
