love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
