Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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