Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
