so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
