At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
