I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Someone shit on the floor
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
