I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
