Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
