So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
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Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
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Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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