Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
