We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
