Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
