Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
