dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
