There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize