Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
