I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
home. puking in laundry basket.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
